Soul-searching or Soul Searcher?

Over the past few months I've been so busy trying to make a living out of doing what I love, supporting others in their growth as they move along their unique path, that it recently dawned upon me that I'd forgotten to focus on my own growth and keep moving along my own unique path too. Oups!

Ever since I have become deeply aware and come to a conscious understanding that there is so much more to life than simply "metro-boulot-dodo", as we say in French or "tube-work-sleep-repeat" in English, I have felt compelled to help, support, and sometimes even push (even though I know it's wrong!) others into seeing that we need to open our eyes, ears and our hearts to the bigger picture.

So what about my eyes, ears and heart, how open have they been?

Let me give you an example. Last autumn I finally found a meditation practice that was right for me, ten minutes in the morning as soon as I woke up, getting me in the right space for the day ahead. For a while, the benefits were second to none and I really felt more present and connected on a daily basis. However after 10 consecutive days and then again after a month my App congratulated me and provided me with a digital badge to praise my achievement. Before I knew it, I was meditating every day but less with the intention of letting go and feeling connected and more with the desire to get the satisfaction of seeing that total number of sessions climb, to achieve the next milestone and then show-off that figure on my Instagram account. Something's not quite right, agreed?

Somewhere along the line, I forgot the true reason as to why I was meditating and became more focused on the other reasons, those that didn't really support the deep rooted connection to life that I was looking for.

It would seem that the expression "the shoemaker's son always goes barefoot" ("les cordonniers sont toujours les plus mal chaussés" in French) didn't come out of nowhere.

For those of you, who like me, find that giving is a big part of who you are then don't forget another famous quote: "you can't pour from any empty cup". I.e. We can't help others if we haven't first helped ourselves. A more obvious metaphor is "you can't drive your car if it has no fuel in it." So the question is, are you putting enough fuel in your tank? I know I've not been putting enough in mine.

Coming back to the title of this post, in order to be a Soul Searcher (by my definition that is someone who supports people as they explore the deepest questions of their soul) one must first have done some serious soul-searching of their own (accepting that there is more to life and seeking to find out exactly what that means to you personally). But this isn't just something that we do once and tick-off on a check list. This is something that will be a different and deeply personal experience for each of us and that most probably will be the work of a lifetime.

I'm guessing, hoping, that having created awareness for myself is the first step, maybe sharing my vulnerability with you is the second and I'm strongly sensing that the third step needs to be something around me doing something for myself, supporting my true self, loving my true self, feeding my true self.

Yesterday morning I took a small step in the right direction. Instead of meditating when I woke up I left my phone at home and went for a walk in our local park. At 6.30 am, there weren't many people around but I stumbled upon an old man taking cover from the rain under a big tree. He used to work in the park and so we chatted for 30 minutes about the 8848 different trees (a fun fact I learnt!) and all the hard work needed to keep the flowerbeds looking so beautiful. I came back home for breakfast feeling calm and grounded, just like after a good meditation session. And then this morning, I meditated because I wanted to and instead of bumping up to 276 consecutive sessions my count moved from zero to one and strangely it felt good!

Ps. I recently did a webinar entitled "Balancing your Ego and Soul to find your unique path", which I thoroughly enjoyed putting together and which taught me lots, for anyone interested in delving deeper on this topic. There is a useful practical exercise too ;-) Discover more here below ⬇️